I need to stop cutting my own hair...

I cut my own hair today – again. I’ve done it like three or four times now in the last year or so. The previous time...well, it wasn’t exactly a disaster, but it doesn’t get much closer! That was May, and my last haircut. It could have looked a lot worse actually, it was just really short. My hair which was once too short now seemed at an awkward long. I wanted it cut. Trimmed even. Just to look half way decent. And this time I decided I was going to wait and have it done by someone who knew what they were doing. I planned to go somewhere over Christmas break but that didn’t happen. So I was holding out for spring break. What was another three weeks, right?

Apparently forever. As I stared at my hair in the mirror after my shower, I made a face. It was getting gross. It needed to be trimmed – if nothing else. Maybe I could just fix my bangs. Grabbing my scissors, I did. But then they were taken care of and the rest of my hair just...was. I began trimming, cutting, adjusting. Removing an inch or two in length before everything was said and done.

It was alright. I mean, I’m not terrible at “adjusting” my own hair...but I really can only get away with it because my hair is slightly curly...so the choppy edges fade in. I am definitely no beautician – nor would or could I ever make it as one. I looked in the mirror and made a face. “Meh, it could be worse.”

But it could be better.

If I had waited, heck waited long enough to drive somewhere and have my hair done today...it could have been better. But I took matters into my own hands. The result wasn’t terrible. But nor was it fantastic. It could have been worse...much worse. But it could have been better...

So often I take matters into my own hands. I want control and power and handle over what happens and when. Yet so I often I get done – and if I haven’t completely destroyed it – it’s never the best it could be. “Meh, it could be worse.”

But it could have been better.

Tremendous amounts of my life are surrender. Giving up power and control...letting go of my scissors to someone, the One who knows what He’s doing. He wants to do it better. And at the right time. Oh, Anika, someday you will need to learn...