The Leaning Tree
AJK 2020
“A little lower, a little lower!” Mom shouted from the corner.
I was flung partially over Dad’s shoulder and he was wrestling me through the living room door. My top had already banged against the front doorway, the hallway, and the kitchen floor! That’s just what happens when you happen to be me, a tall a mighty Christmas tree!
Still, Mom shouted to avoid more of my pine needles hitting the floor. “A little lower! That’s it! A little more!”
“I can’t wait to decorate!” Little Katie clapped her hands and jumped up and down.
“Can I put the star on the top?” Benjamin asked excitedly.
“We’ll see!” Dad laughed as he tipped me upright and pulled me around.
I wanted to laugh too; I was so filled with glee. All of this joy was about ME! We trees at the farm had talked about what it would mean…to be chosen for Christmas (the noblest of professions for an evergreen!) We talked of the lights and the smiles we would bring. We talked of how EVERYONE would stare with wonder and awe and join around us to sing. But nothing we talked of compared to this, the real thing!
Dad wiggled my trunk into the stand, my Christmas throne. I held my breath and clung to my cones! Soon I would stand, a true Christmas beauty; tall and straight – like a soldier on duty! Soon Katie and Benjamin would stare with eager eyes and Mom would hold Dad’s hand and everyone would agree…that I was the greatest, the finest, and the very best tree!
Finally, as I felt myself hoisted to my throne, I stood proud, I stood tall! I looked at my family. They looked confused, their bright eyes a bit downfall.
“It…leans.” Mom said, angling her head to the side.
“Yeah!” said Benjamin “it tilts like it’s a bit, well, cockeyed…”
I frowned and my branches sagged.
“Well, I think it’s a GREAT tree! Let’s put the lights on!” Katie nagged.
Mom smiled at Dad. “Katie is right. Maybe all it needs is some bulbs and some lights!”
Benjamin smirked. “Plus, even though it’s a little tippy…it’s really tall! I still want to put on the star when we’re finished with it all!”
And my branches swelled again with pride. All Christmas long they would be staring at me, looking at me all twinkly eyed! Benjamin and Katie laughed while covering my branches with twinkling lights and handmade ornaments while Christmas music played. I assumed it was the excitement that made me want to sway!
When they were finished, and Benjamin had put my star on top, they all stood together staring at me. My lights caught the twinkle in Benjamin’s eye and Katie’s smile.
“You know, it really is a pretty tree it seems...” Dad said, pulling Mom to his side. “Even if it leans…”
Inside, I was beaming as much as the lights I was wearing. I tried to stand a little taller. And a little straighter…
~-~-~-~-~
Yet, a tree can only stand as straight as a tree seems. I could not make myself any straighter. So, still, I leaned.
On the second day I felt my right side getting heavier and heavier. My trunk shook in its stand. I tried to scream for help but the next sound I heard was the sound of my branches against piano keys land. They did NOT a familiar carol play as on the chord book I continued to lay.
Mom ran into the living room, covered in baking flour from Christmas cookies and gasped, and Katie followed with a quiver to her lip.
“Dadddd!” Katie bellowed. “Help! The tree! It’s slipped!”
“It looks like I didn’t secure it quite right in the stand. The trunk was in straight, but the weight wasn’t balanced as I planned…” Dad said as Benjamin rushed to the scene. “…it is because, well, the tree, it leans…”
Dad resecured my base and tipped me upright. Katie and Benjamin gingerly picked up my fallen ornaments while mom dusted my lost needles off the piano so the keys were no longer green but black and white.
“It’s still a good tree.” Benjamin said as he and Katie looked at me with eyes which still glistened and gleaned. “It’s still a good tree, even though it leans…”
I tried to stand a little taller. And a little bit straighter.
~-~-~-~-~
Yet, a tree can only stand as straight as a tree seems. I could not make myself any straighter. So, still, I leaned.
On the fourth day of my monumental Christmas display, Katie and Benjamin came rushing in from their outside play. I heard their giggles and felt a rush of cold air as they come running in, still in their winter-wear. In their merriment I shook just a little in my stand as I saw that Benjamin was wielding a giant snowball in his hand.
“Don’t Benny!” Katie giggled as the icy ball flew and she ducked. The snowy ball went through the air and it was my needles it struck. It must be Benjamin has a really good arm because the snowball ended up delivering a forceful blow. I swayed and teetered and into Dad’s chair I did go.
“Mom’s going to ground us for life!” Benjamin said with eyes wide.
Katie’s eyes, however, began to glisten. “Dadddd! Help! The tree! It’s on its side!”
Dad ran into the room and calmy tipped me back up while, with the Christmas Cards she had been addressing still in hand, mom ran through the door. And Benjamin and Katie picked up my lost ornaments and fixed my garland while Mom mopped up the snowy puddles from off of the floor.
“It’s still a good tree.” Mom said with a now damp rag in her hand and the floor now clean. “It’s a good tree, even if it leans…”
I tried to stand a little taller. And a little bit straighter.
~-~-~-~-~
Yet, a tree can only stand as straight as a tree seems. I could not make myself any straighter. So, still, I leaned. My lean became my downfall and, indeed, I fell down a couple more times…because I leaned.
The cat, as enamored as the rest of the world with my glorious decor, batted my round ornament balls. And so, without much tottering, into the corner lamp both I and the cat did fall.
One day the door was slammed and I was caught quite by surprise. That day I quickly startled from my highs. Into the rocking chair I fell with a “whack!” and then I continued to teeter…forth and back, forth and back.
Or the time water was added to my stand and splashed a little more to the left than the right… I ended up on the couch tangled in a blanket. Now that was a sight!
Each time, Mom came running – still covered in her Christmas preparing. Each time, Dad was called and he picked me up with so much caring. Each time, Benjamin and Katie picked up my dropped canes and misplaced lights and green. And each time, it was decided that despite all it seemed, I was still a good tree – even if I happened to lean.
Each time I tried to stand a little bit taller. And a little bit straighter.
~-~-~-~-~
Yet, a tree can only stand as straight as a tree seems. I could not make myself any straighter. So, still, I leaned.
So even though I tried as much as I was able, it wasn’t long before I leaned right onto a festive looking table. If trees could sigh, I would have but Dad did for me instead. A deep, saddened, frustrated sigh as he shook his head.
“No more!” He said. “I can’t keep picking up this tree! I never should have kept a tree that leans!”
Mom unplugged my lights and Benjamin brought the storage bins. It wasn’t even Christmas day and already I was going to be turned in.
“Stop!” Katie yelled. Big tears sliding down her cheeks as her eyes leaked. “We can’t just have Christmas without a tree! What if we just let it lean?”
Dad took another big sigh and gathered Katie in his arms. “I suppose,” he replied, “if it leans against this table for a couple weeks, it won’t do any harm.”
So that is what they did. With my head on a table and my branches on a chair…for the next two weeks I stayed right there.
My view wasn’t quite as elegant as it had been standing up tall. I couldn’t see to the kitchen or out the hall. Most of the time no one looked at me with the same wonder and awe. I was left to be, leaning and all.
~-~-~-~-~
I was afraid I’d be lonely, having failed at my mission to be the reason for Christmas cheer. But, to my surprise, every night, the whole family gathered near!
Dad was telling a story – or so it seemed. He had a big book and Mom had these figurines. Each night Dad would read just a little bit more. And mom would pull another figurine from her secret store.
First Dad read of a girl named Mary and Joseph, her fiancĂ©. He talked about how Mary was going to have a baby – even though that wasn’t the way. He talked about God’s love for everyone, for Mary and Joe; and about how through this baby, the whole world would know! Matthew 1:18, John 3:16
Dad read that when an angel came and told Mary she had questions and said “how can this be? Joseph will never believe that I’m having God’s baby!” But the angel told her not to be afraid and everything he was saying was true. Mary said “I’m God’s servant and what you have said, God will do!” Luke 1:26-28
“What about Joseph?” Benjamin asked the next night. “When he found out about the baby, did they have a big fight?” So, Mom took out Joseph and Dad read about him too, about how the angel stopped by Joseph and told him what to do! “Take Mary as your wife, without any fuss! That baby she carries is Emmanuel – that means ‘God with us!’” Matthew 1:19-24
The figurines of Mary and
Joseph started alone on the table. They were really far away from where my top draped
over a stable. Mom took out a donkey explained this was because they had to
travel really far! They had to walk since in those days there were no cars. The
Caesar had decided everyone should pay him a certain amount and so he sent them
to their hometowns for this tax and a count. Luke 2:1-5
When Mary and Joseph got to Bethlehem there was nowhere to stay! “We’re all full! We have no rooms! We’re tired, go away!” Mary was very pregnant, and they were tired too! Joseph asked the inn keeper what they were to do. Mom placed the innkeeper to the side and placed down a trough as Dad read from his book that there were no guest rooms but a barn out back, “take a look!” Luke 2:6-7
Dad read that if the baby were to come it would be in the manger he would lay. I looked at the cold little trough without any hay! This was no place for a baby and Katie agreed! “Mom, a barn? What if Mary has her baby?” Mom told her to wait, the story wasn’t done. Still, when no one was looking I shook some soft tinsel and needles down to soften the crib should Mary have her son.
The following day Mom pulled a couple shepherds from her box. Dad explained shepherds protected sheep from danger like cliffs, wolfs, and fox. That same night the shepherds were not far away in the field. They were just watching their sheep, acting as their shield. This would have been their job, like every other night. Yet this time something happened, which gave them quite a fright! Luke 2:8-11
“What happened??” Katie and Benjamin asked with a whine.
Dad looked at Mom and nodded and she said “One more part. Just this time…”
Mom pulled out an angel with large wings and a flowing gown. She was beautiful and if I were Mom, I’d never want to put her down. Benjamin and Katie stared, engrossed! And mom explained she represented just one of the heavenly host! Dad opened his book again, and read of how the angel spoke to the frightened men. “Don’t be afraid; I bring news of great joy! It’s meant for every man, woman, girl, and boy! A Savior has been born and in a manger he lays!” Then the host of angels broke into songs of praise! “Glory to God and peace on earth where his favor rests!” The shepherds ran off, to find this savior was their quest! Luke 2:9-14
Benjamin and Katie stood with eyes aglow. That seemed the way they looked at ME not so long ago. I wanted their attention, their giggles, their laugh. But it was then that I noticed a shepherd without his tall staff. “He must have dropped it as he ran to see” and I wondered if I could help with something from my tree. So, when my family turned for the day, I dropped a candy cane for the shepherd to use on his way.
The next nights to the stable Mom added sheep and a goat and a cow. She said, “we don’t know what animals were there, but let’s add these for now…” Dad read about how the shepherds found Mary and Joseph and baby just like the angels said. He read about how the babe was laid in a box from which those same animals were fed. Luke 2:15-16
“It’s cool that the shepherds came since they were so far from their friends! But did they get any presents?” asked a curious Ben.
“WE get presents at Christmas and birthdays both!” echoed excited Katie. “Were there any presents for the new little baby?”
What a good question, I thought. If I wasn’t leaning, I would be protecting all of those beautiful packages that had been bought!
To answer their question mom pulled out three figurines more. She said “the best gift for the baby couldn’t have been bought at a store! The angels and shepherds, they brought worship and praise. These aren’t things you find in window displays.”
Then Dad grabbed his book and said with a grin “Worship and praise are the first place to begin! Still, if we go to our story’s end, we will find other gifts brought by some special guests who attend. They came from a great distance, a land very far. They said they had seen and followed a star. They were important, the likes of scholars or kings we are told. They came to worship and brought with them gifts of myrrh, frankincense, and gold.” Matthew 2:1-2, 9-12
Benjamin protested: “I would have brought diapers! Or a bottle! That just seems commonsense! Who gives a baby gold or frankincense?”
Katie nodded in agreement and then thoughtfully considered what she would bring. “Except, maybe,” she said “their gifts weren’t meant for a baby – but a king!”
Mom and Dad smiled and then Mom explained: “to be a King the world had never known was the reason this baby came!”
I didn’t quite understand what Mom said was supposed to mean…but even I understood the honor meant for a king. So while the magi stood stately with their gifts, I allowed my favorite ornament from my branches to slip. Something special for the king who was a baby, the one who came or was still coming, maybe.
Finally, it was Christmas Eve and Katie turned and looked at me! “I know our tree tips, I know that it leans, but since it’s almost Christmas can’t we turn its lights on…please?”
Dad smiled and nodded and soon I was aglow. A leaning tree that shone from head to toe.
“Look!” Benjamin shouted and I froze in place. He was pointing at me with joy and excitement on his face. My old pride awakened and thought “now’s the time! I may lean but it’s finally my time to shine!”
I soon realized he wasn’t as concerned with my branches as he was with how my lean touched the table. And his gaze rested not me but the stable.
“I didn’t realize until now, with the tree lit, how, because the tree leans…well, just looks where the star sits!”
I couldn’t see the star on my top, but I could see the table and the stable and I had a good idea of where I stopped. Even I was taken a bit by surprise. My star rested over the table where the stable lies.
“It’s like the star that helped the wise men to know…that there was a king born and where to go!” Katie was excited and she pointed this out. She was beaming and shouting, dancing about!
“What’s this excitement?” Mom asked, grabbing one last figure as she entered.
Dad grinned and gestured “It appears it’s over our manger that the tree’s star has centered.” Grabbing his book he gathered Benjamin and Katie around. “I think that means it’s time for where our true Christmas excitement is found!”
Dad recounted the kings, the shepherd, and the sheep. How there was no room in the inn for Mary and Joseph to sleep. He reminded them the angels had promised joy for the earth – all on account of a special birth. Mom placed a baby in a manger to lay – right there with my tinsel, some needles, and hay. Dad read “The baby came, her firstborn, a son, while Mary and Joseph were there. Mary placed him in the manger after wrapping him in some cloths to wear.” Luke 2:6-7
“This is baby Jesus?” Katie pondered.
Benjamin asked “Was it really a baby that filled both shepherds and kinds with worship and wonder?”
“Except Jesus was no ordinary baby,” Mom replied with a nod. “You see Jesus was the Son of Mary but first the Son of God.”
“To us a child is born, a Son is given…” Dad read before saying “it’s because of Jesus our sins are forgiven. He is called ‘Wonderful Counselor’ and ‘Mighty God’… because for us to understand God’s love, He had to come where people trod. So God became like you and like me, so we would know hope, joy, and peace.” (Isaiah 9:6)
Mom added: “For God so loved the world, so loved you, so loved me…He came nothing more than a simple baby. He humbled Himself, though He was God and King, even though he was the One of whom the angels did sing! God knew that if we were to ever understand His forgiveness and love, He would have to come down from heaven above. He came in a way we could understand. In the form of a baby would grow into a man.” John 3:16, Philippians 2:5
Dad continued, “One day that man, Jesus, would show God’s love for us in this – He would die for us while we were still caught in our sins. But he would defeat death forever, so time separated from God would be never!”
“Don’t you see, there is no doubt!” Mom added, “Jesus is what Christmas is about! The baby that the angels did sing, is the Lord of lords and King of Kings...”
Something stirred deep in my trunk I couldn’t quite explain. I stared intently where the baby Jesus was lain. It was as if everything made sense now…I leaned even further and made my lean, a bow.
I know now however, what I wish I had known when I was smaller…it’s not about standing straighter; it’s not about standing taller. Christmas isn’t about the presents, the carols or the tree. It was never, actually, all about me.
I don’t know how long a
Christmas tree stays. How long before I’ll be ushered out of the house, the
next holiday to make way. But I know that no matter what it seems, I am proud
to be a tree that at the manger, bows. A tree, that leans…
Anika J. Kasper, 2020 - all rights to this work are my own
