I spent my month of July at my grandparent’s house. It was a solid and central home base for a change of scenery. Plus, grandpa needed help and was willing to pay me for the hours I put in... in the midst of a summer where my budget would have otherwise been exceedingly tight. It was a good set up. The last week, my youngest brother, Gabe, came to join me. Realizing he had never spent any significant time with them and he was only getting older and they weren’t getting any younger and I could drive him home at the end made it seem like a pretty good plan.
Now, if you know me AT ALL, you know I love my siblings. And I brag about them and talk them up. I feel as if my two sisters and two brothers make up some of the world’s most quality citizens. Of the truth. Even Gabe, who at 14 is still growing up into the person he will someday become. He’s doing a decent job at it. He is a solid kid who works hard when he wants to and loves Jesus and is strong in character and rich in compassion. But 14 he is still is and so he is wavering between that line of boyhood and dare I say, manhood. *Gasp* I may or may not have decided that it was high time, with ample opportunity...being it was just he and I at the g’rents...to teach him some lessons that would help him grow up well. I decided that all of these lessons translated into something greater and more. Some things that older sisters hope younger brothers will learn and know and take hold of as they go...
So, without further ado, some lessons Gabe and I worked on, as taught by his older sister (as opposed to my brother or father who are leading and directing well) in the best way she knew how. Becoming A Man 101: Small things every older sister hopes her little brother will gain as he grows...
Common Courtesy. Looking out for the general interest and common good of others. Just because it is the right thing to do. Manners. Politeness. The lesson to teach it...Putting the toilet seat down! We’re still working on it...
Common Sense. Evaluating a situation and making logical, thought through, and meaningful decisions. Doing things that might not always be the quickest or the most fun – but the best. Acting both on instinct and some for-thought. The lesson to teach it...chopping and moving wood (don’t stand there to get hit when I’m rolling logs down the hill!)
Tenderness. Good guys are tender guys. They can be sensitive and understanding. Physically, they know the difference between good touch and bad touch. Harsh touch and healing touch. The lesson to teach it...I taught him how to how to massage my shoulders (I needed it!). :0)
Work Ethic – Doing what’s got to be done because it’s got to be done. Without complaining. Just doing it. Seeing it to finish. And feeling good about a job well done. (Connected: Responsibility and Hutzpah – I don’t know if that is a real word and if it is, how you spell it, but I’ve always known it to mean gumption, drive, and an internal firmness) The lesson to teach it...Hauling bird manure. 100’s of gallons. Awesome.
Self Control. Holding yourself together when you’d rather be and do otherwise. Whether it is choosing not to say something or making the decision not to act. Controlling the impulse for the good of the cause. The lesson to learn it...simply dealing with grandpa’s quick criticism
Others with nonspecific lesson but part of life in general...
Leadership. Stepping into a situation and stepping up. Making decisions worth following – whether working alone or in a group. Being accountable and keeping accountable any around. Character. Trustworthiness.
Foresightedness. Connected to common sense. The ability to think ahead of a situation and prepare accordingly. In Dutch there is a word for it – voorzighteg – and I get the impression it is more than just that, however. It has to do with being intentional as well as prepared. To be a visionary but then to act on that vision. Not just something you have the ability to do, but something that comes out of the character of who you are.
The week ended and he didn’t kill me. Despite my continual joking about all of my “becoming a man” lessons. He didn’t totally master everything on my learning curve (especially when it came to putting the seat down!) but the fact he dealt so gracefully and patiently with me gives me hope that he’ll grow into a quality guy yet. :O)
Love ya, Gabe.
