Wait

So many questions. I left for a much needed and much anticipated trip to the mountains of Montana with questions. Of myself and of God. Desperate for a rekindled passion for my Saviour, I anticipated great things. Furthermore, I anticipated great answers.

As I woke up each morning - before my group mates would stir - to spend my own special time with God, I would stare at the sun rising bold and beautiful over the mountain tops and lose myself in the majesty and spleador of my Creator. I felt wrapped, entrapped, in His love for me - me, a gem in the crown of His creation. Much greater than even the vast hills which lie to my every side though I could not fathom my own worth. And I would pour my heart out before my Father and my God and wait for His reply.

Mostly my attempts to silence myself before my King were answered with similar silence - devoid of the answers I so accutely desired. And so I continued to seek. And though I felt as if I could see God - clearly and plainly - I could not hear His voice. I had yet to let the other voices fade. As I struggled to surrender the voices of my questions to hear the voice of God, the assurance of an answer rang in my soul and played on my lips.

"Wait."

I know no clearer word. The answer - the one had been waiting for, searching for, longing for. Wait. An answer wrapped in discontent. Ready to rejoice in the knowledge of a response, instead I was soon frantic. "What am I waiting on? What am I waiting for? What am I supposed to do while I wait?!?"

"Just wait."

I have a feeling Montana was just the beginning. Just the start of the next stage God intends to bring me through in my life. And though I am unnerved at the lack of clarity, the foggy destination, I pray to continue to listen for and hear the voice of God. Until all becomes clear...I wait.