To Remember...

She was walking briskly down the street.  In a hurry...per usual.  Running late...as was becoming the new norm.  Time.  There was never enough time.  Always too much to do.  Too many things for which to keep track.  And people.  Never enough time to spare for the ones she held closest and never enough to spread adequately over those demanding it.  She shifted her bag to glance at her watch.  She had fifteen minutes at best if she were to get to work in time to have everything arranged before the rest arrived.

She looked up from her mental calculations to see a young woman.  She smiled politely and nodded her head in greeting before continuing in her hasty steps; her shoes making a steady click against the sidewalk squares.  The woman returned the nod but did not continue down the street; instead in her spot she remained although was quickly lost from view...

She paused suddenly. She felt as if the eyes of her arbitrary morning greeting were still watching her.  Considering those eyes, she also felt a sudden sense of recognition.  Her head tilted in a moment of confused pondering.  Slowly and deliberately she turned and began to walk the handful of steps back to where she saw the woman first.  The woman was still there...

She stopped and looked at the woman curiously.  “I’m sorry...” she found the words escaping her mouth almost before she knew what she was saying and long before she could retract them. “but do I know you?”  The woman responded with a similar confused yet pleasant expression but said nothing. 

She seemed not notice her companion’s silence before continuing.  “I just feel as if I know you.  You look ever so familiar.  You remind me of someone I used to know...

“Did we go to school together? High school perhaps?  Yes that seems quite possible.  I seem to remember you as one of the quiet girls? Always with your head in a book? Smart and studious? Yes!  That’s right!  Because everyone was so surprised when you spoke so well and clearly during Speech Class our senior year but no one was surprised when you were Valedictorian!”  Her excitement faded and she caught the woman’s quizzical glance.  “No, that couldn’t be it.  I would remember...

“Wait!  I was wrong!  We met in college!  You never really were in any group per se.  You were your own person, unique.  A little socially awkward perhaps.  But also witty.  Everyone was always laughing at your silly antics and comments!  That was you, right?  When you emerged as a leader, no one saw it was coming.  Didn’t know you had it in you!”  She chuckled but paused. “No, that had to have been someone else.  Someone like that I wouldn’t have to place.  I would remember...”

She shook her head and pursed her lips.  She saw the puzzled but soft look on the woman’s face and her own expression softened.  “Pardon me.  I’m not typically like this.  It’s just, just that, well...your face, those eyes.  I know you from somewhere...”  She paused.  “Do you know...?  Was it a summer of camp?  Did we counsel together perhaps?  There was one girl I seem to recall who would come alive for those weeks of camp.  Were you the one who appeared to have such a zest and a passion?  The one who got to the end of that one week and cried because she had to send her campers home to worlds she couldn’t protect or control?  No. It couldn’t be.  I wanted to be just like her.  I would know her if I saw her.  I would remember...”

A dawn of realization flashed in her eyes and she blushed briefly before leaning in just a little.  “This might be a little personal, but were you, did you, have you ever...” She collected herself before continuing. “What I mean to say is, was there ever a time in your life where it, life that it is, where it was a struggle?  Where something in your life was difficult or challenging?  Perhaps I don’t remember you and just your picture?  Maybe I prayed for you off of a list at church or something of a similar variety?  Did you ever lose someone close? Or were you ever very sick?”  She looked up and saw pain burning in the back of the woman’s eyes.  “You don’t have to answer.  I just seem to be reminded of someone who went through quite a bit.  Everyone was so proud of her strength and her courage and the way that nothing stopped her.  And I always wondered if there was more to her story than what we saw.  And yet, I hoped I could be that superhero in real life.  You know with the ability to do and be everything everyone wanted despite what was going on.  No, it couldn’t be.  Even if it were just a picture, I would remember...”

 

She massaged her brow and shook her head in frustration.  “I know!  I probably look crazy. I am going to be late for work and I suddenly don’t even care.  I still feel as if I know you.  The longer I stand here, the more I am convinced that you’re someone I not only know but should still know.  Should have kept in contact with.  I wish I could remember...

“Obviously it’s been years.  It must have been.  You are quite a bit older than I remember.  But then so am I.  It’s only a matter of time before my hair streaks gray with the crazy life I live!”  She laughed.  “And life must have been pretty crazy or busy since we talked last.  Your eyes are tired and your shoulders sag as you stand.  You almost look, weary?  As if it has been too long since there was anything to refresh your spirit and your soul.  I seem to remember you as having more fire behind your eyes.  But I guess I don’t really remember...” 

Her voice trailed off and her gaze was lost in a personal day dream.  A world all of her own.  When she snapped back to all she could catch was the sad look in the woman’s eyes.  Her own voice cracked and a tear ran down her face. “I wish, I wish I remembered.  I wish I remembered who you were and why you’re so important to me...”  She leaned into her purse to grab a tissue.  “Look at me blubbering like an idiot.  I’m sorry for taking so much of your time.  Time!  Oh my, I am going to be so late for work.  I really must go!”  She paused before rushing off again.  “If you think of it, if you remember, will you look me up?  I’m awfully busy but I would make some time...”  The words seemed to be lost as somewhere a clock began to strike the hour.  She reached out towards the woman’s face and compulsively brushed her smooth cheek.  “Goodbye, old friend.  Someday, someday I’ll remember...” 

She regained her composure and again rushed off.  Her hasty steps made a steady click as she hurried down the sidewalk. 

As the day began and the clock at the center of town put in its last and ninth chime, the street began to come alive.  From where the two women stood a shopkeeper flipped the sign in his door to “OPEN” and exited with a cloth in his hand.  He walked up to the pane of the two-way mirror windows he had installed.  “Silly kids.  Always making faces in the mirror and putting their finger prints on my windows!”  And with a steady motion he began to wipe away the latest streak.  Almost at eye level.  And almost as if someone had run her hand gently down the side of his face...