Of the Younger Me...

Touching softly
A picture from yester-year...
Eyes bright with wonder
With innocence to spare.
Could those sparkling eyes
Really have been mine?
So un-jaded, untouched
By a life so unkind?

Hello sweet girl,
Do you know who I am?
I’m the future you,
That smile’s end.
Am I familiar?
What do you see?
Do I look like what you imagined?
Do I resemble what you’ve dreamed?

I’m in mourning for who I was,
For what I lost when I let down every dream
Of what I used to hope to be.
I’m apologizing to
This picture
Of the younger me.

Did you know
Who you would become?
Did you ever glimmer
At this life you now live
When you were yet so young?
Did you look into the mirror
And imagine growing up?
Did you question?
Did you ponder?
Are you now the woman
You used to dream of?

I’m in mourning for who I was,
For what I lost when I let down every dream
Of what I used to hope to be.
I’m apologizing to
This reflection
Of the younger me.

I cry over what I used to know
And wonder about where the years did go.
I’m in mourning for the pieces
I lost along the way...
Is that apt but old imagination,
The wild but forgotten inspiration,
Part of the desperation
Tearing me apart
As I try to look away?

So I kneel down gently;
Pause and look tenderly;
Take that girl I used to know
In my own tired arms.
I’m not who she would hope to be,
And I’m not who she would dream to see,
She’s scared and disappointed by this older version of “me”.

“I’m sorry dear child
I’ve let you down,
I fear.
I don’t look like what you
Dreamt of
Hoped for in yester-year.”
What happened to that little girl?
The girl I used to be?
Is she still inside there somewhere?
With all of her hopes and dreams?
Or is the sweet innocence of a childhood girl
Now but a memory?

I’m in mourning for who I was
For what I lost when I let down every dream
Of what I used to hope to be.
I’m apologizing to
My memory,
My memory of the younger me.